My Journey Into the Sport of Bodybuilding

My journey into bodybuilding started at the age of 6. 6 you ask? Yes, 6!!!! See at 6 years old I sat in a first grade classroom and I was the odd ball, the weird-o, the kid who was different, the one no one understood or wanted to be friends with. I was the one chosen last during dodgeball. At the age of 6 I was diagnosed with ADD, ED, BD and LD. I have attention, behavior, learning and emotional difficulties. Talk about being hit hard. EVERYTHING I did was a struggle and hard for me. So how did this get me into bodybuilding you ask? This was the beginning of me struggling to find my "place" or "home" in this world. This is where I began my first attempt to be understood for who I am and what I believe in.

So throughout school I got involved in gangs, sports, and a sorority, all attempting to find the people and place where I would be the most understood. I went to college on a cross country scholarship and went to the gym to lift weights three times a week. After a month my coach told me I had to STOP lifting! I was getting to big! After many stress fractures, I decided to switch to playing rugby in college. I got to lift daily and get as big and strong as I wanted! During college their was a bodybuilding show called Greek Physique and I decided I wanted to compete in it. I trained at the gym with many guys who offered to help me pose, diet and prepare. I loved the diet, loved putting on muscle, loved cardio, learning about supplements and loved competing! I competed in Greek Physique and won it 4 years in a row! When I left college I joined a gym back home where I was student teaching. I started working out there daily and meeting people who competed in the NPC and who told me I should do a show. I told everyone I wanted to focus on my first year teaching and just continued to train. I hired a trainer and he trained me 3 times a week. I started to see myself put on more and more muscle as time went on. I ate clean and started learning more about supplements. I decided to start attending the local NPC contests to see what it was like. During the first show I went to I had made up my mind...I WANTED TO COMPETE AGAIN! So in 2007 I started my journey toward my first competition. During the year I went to every show and met more and more people who competed. I started lifting, training and spending time with competitors and by the end of 2007 I had attended every local Illinois show and had met a whole group of friends who understood me and accepted me for who I was. They understood my "oddness" and in their eyes it was okay to be different. In fact it was my differences that made me so unique.

So in 2008 I stood back on the stage and did my first NPC bodybuilding competition. Ever since then I live the lifestyle daily, believe in the religion of bodybuilding and truly believe I found my "place" to call home! All of the struggling I did my whole life as a child only made me a stronger person. It only taught me resilience and to persevere when things are hard. This has helped me get through contest prep, in the off season when bulking and in my professional life as a elementary and special education teacher. The only difference is I have taught my students that it's okay to be this way! This is how I started bodybuilding and can't imagine my life without it!

Learning to Believe In Me

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were
meant to be there. To serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or
help figure out who you are or who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be but when you lock eyes with them, you
know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.
And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible,
painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming
those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, will
power or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of
good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer
stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small
tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere.
Safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet affect your life. The successes and downfalls that you
experience can create who you are, and the bad experiences can be learned
from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because
they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious
to whom you open your heart.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they
love you, but because they are teaching you to love and to open your heart
and eyes to little things. Make every day count.

Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can,
for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let
yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high.

Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a
great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in
yourself, no one else will believe in you. Create your own life and then go
out and live it.

2010 Reflection

It is great to look back on the last year and see the good and bad that happened, but if I had to pick out the greatest accomplishment I had this year it was discovering what made me happy, finding my true self and creating the life I truly deserve. I was able to "weed my garden" of people in my life who weren't making me happy. I found true happiness after I walked away from these negative voices. It is a hard sometimes hurtful process and many would rather stay in these relationships than walk away. I chose to walk away and couldn't be happier with my decision. I would rather have friends in my life who understand me, truly support me and who are not self centered and self absorbed. It has been an amazing experience that made me grow into a stronger person.

I love how many people think they are friends with people who all they do is text, email or instant message. They think these "facebook" friends are REAL friends. I find this nothing but amusing.

So as I wrap up another year I want to thank the people who love and support me, who TRULY want what is best for me and who are able to look outside their own bubble and be a friend. I am not a perfect person but I work hard each and everyday to make myself better and stronger.