AH HA Moment............

Ever have an AH HA moment? One where you realize what you have been doing wrong, how you have gone about something totally wrong or one in which you discover something about yourself? I have had many of these recently and wanted this blog to be about just that. I had the opportunity to guest pose for the first time. In the past I have never had anxiety, gotten nervous or even thought twice about being in front of an audience. I mean, I present at conferences all over the US, played in a cover band, teach in front of my peers and students daily without thinking twice. So why when I got up on stage was I SO darn nervous? I took hip hop dance all offseason and never feared performing. Well as I walked off the stage at the Egyptian Theatre, where I began bodybuilding 11 years ago, I realized the answer to this question. It wasn’t due to lack of preparation or not having a high self esteem. It really came down to one thing…..it does not come naturally to me. I can’t under the pressure on stage perform with the grace and flow I want to cause unless I can do it in my sleep it won’t happen. So now I know…the diet, the cardio the training, I do this year round, it is natural to me, but dancing and posing it not. So this year I will focus ALL my attention on just that. With my dance teacher working with me weekly, I will perform like I NEVER have before. Watch out…..here I come!!!!!!!!

Now, in the past I have shared my contest prep, my progress, my where abouts and my business with others. I have learned that really, no one needs to know anything except my trainer and diet coach. NO ONE. I don’t need others to toot my horn and tell me how good I look, how awesome my workouts are, how much size I put on or what they know I want to hear. I am confident enough in myself to do this on my own. I have a supportive trainer and diet coach in my corner to answer my questions and get me through the rough patches. Better than that I have ME. I am independent, confident and a great person, who has all the skills it takes internally to be my best. Its time to stop listening, close my eyes and start reflecting internally.